The Remedy
by SDJkfsd
Summary: Naruto is a cute, feminine teenage boy. Many guys want him, some despise him. Some may even go to extreme lengths to make his life hell. But there is hope. Maybe a certain Uchiha can help out with his problems. Sasunaru. Also in alternate universe.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Anything Naruto belongs to** **Masashi Kishimoto. Because if it DID belong to me... Um... Let's just say Naruto and Sasuke would have more than a "brother" relationship.**

**Hello all! This is my very first SasuNaru fanfic. _Sorry if it's horrible that it burns your eyes or that it turns you to stone._****Well anyways, I might suck. Just review and tell me! Flames are welcomed. Naruto's 16 in this story and so are the others.**

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Naruto was excited. No, more than excited. Ecstatic! Today was THE day. No, he wasn't getting a new item, or furniture from Granny Tsunade.(1) He wasn't going to be elected for any school-related positions. No, he was going to get a job at... ICHIRAKU'S! To anyone else, this may not seem like a big deal. But to Naruto, it was like having an important position in which a person must uphold. Ichiraku's was a small diner that served ramen. He lived about 3 blocks away from it, so this was the perfect restaurant to work in. It had the reputation of serving the best and unique ramen. Many people came there, and Naruto's new job was to serve as a bartender, considering there was too many people coming in to sit on a spinning chair. Many people would kill for Naruto's job, because employees got ramen for free.

Unbeknownst to anyone who didn't know him, Naruto loved ramen. He pratically worshipped it. Who could know why he did? Perhaps it was that warm feeling and flavor. Just like the taste of a long lost feeling, a wonderous experience. He didn't know his parents. They had... done certain things to the village in the past, so he had to grow up alone.

As Naruto got ready for the job, he looked himself in the mirror. His blue cerulean eyes shone like diamonds, and his whisker scars had made him look like a cute cat just waiting to be touched. His blonde, soft vivid hair could make anyone blush by thinking about it.

"YATA!" Naruto cried out as he ran out the door of his apartment. "Ichiraku, Ichiraku, Ichiraku," he muttered in a chant, walking hurriedly along the streets, feeling like he was walking the stairs of heaven. He almost kicked down the door of Ichiraku's as he paraded in. "I'M HEEEER-AHH!" he yelled as a certai brunette bartender knocked him down. "Itai..." Ayame muttered rubbing her head. Her eyes brightened when she saw the dazed blonde.

"Naruto!" Ayame exclaimed. She meant to sound cross, but she couldn't help herself, sounding cheerful. "You aren't supposed to run in here! Be careful next time!" "Sorry, I was feeling a bit... excited today dattebayo," Naruto grinned. "So when do I start?" Ayame had already gotten up and behind the counter near the door. "Now," Ayame said. Naruto picked himself up and peered around his "heaven." Tables and chairs had been put around the all-glass sides of the restaruant. A few people had chosen a chair and were casually chatting.

"4 people are at table 4, ironically," Ayame ordered, "go to them, feel to their every whim, bow down to them." Naruto grinned, "You make it sound like I'm a stripper." "No, but you will be if you don't go take their orders now." Ayame replied with a sly grin on her face. "YOSH!" Naruto said, pumping his arms up, "I won't fail you m'lady!"

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After taking the uniform from Ayame, a cute, chibi bunny plastered on the corner of a green apron (2), Naruto left for table 4, a table perched on a corner.

"Yo, Naruto!" Kiba called out. "Kiba? Sakura? Neji? Ino?" Naruto said, looking quizzically to each of them, "Why are- "To see you at your new job of course!" Ino said, squeezing Naruto. "And to see if you don't mess this one up," Neji smirked. Naruto blushed, "HEY! I don't screw anything up! At least not much..." Kiba interupted, "Naruto, remember that time you took out a dog for the walk to the grocery store, and the next thing that happened involved the police, a suicidal maniac, and a matricidal clown? Yeah, now we can't ever dogsit or babysit again without a signed document from the incubent Emperor of Japan." The group chortled together.

"Anyways, that's besides the point!" Naruto exclaimed, rolling his eyes, "Now, what do you guys want for lunch?" Naruto said. "Nothing really," Sakura said, "We just wanted to see you." Naruto frowned, Sakura hadn't liked him at all since he accidentally kissed Sasuke-teme (3) Sakura had a worried look plastered on her face. "Well, Naruto, we should really get going," Sakura said, looking behind her frequently. "Yeah, we should," Neji said, standing up. "Bye all!" Naruto exclaimed. Naruto blushed as Neji hit him with is piercing gaze. "Bye, Naruto-kun."

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"Whew, Ayame, I don't know how you do it each day. These people are like ramen-eating freaks." Naruto said, wiping the sweat of his brow. Ayame giggled, "Naruto, don't be such a hypocrite, or I'll tell Daddy to lock you up in a cage and torture you by hooking ramen over your head. How about that?" She smirked at Naruto's pouting look. "Well anyways, it's tiring, but you get used to it," Ayame answered, "besides, don't you still like the ramen here?" Naruto's face brightened, "Of course, but I should get going, Grandma Tsunade is going to KILL me if I'm late on rent again. Trust me, she almost got to that knife last time too. Can you give me my paycheck early?" "Sure." "Well, I'll see you tomorrow Ayame! Tell Old Man I said bye!" Naruto said, running toward the door. "Bye Naruto!" Ayame waved. Naruto exited out of the shop rather hurriedly, and then stopped when he felt a presence behind him. It was 5:00 P.M., and the block Ichiraku's was perched on was deserted.

Shrugging it off, Naruto continued down the hill. Suddenly, a wind blew and Naruto's check flew to a dark alley in between a grocery store and tea shop. "AHH! STOP THE CHECK!" Naruto yelled, jumping up to try to get it. A stranger in a hat and coat appeared from behind the alley and caught the check.

Naruto was so close to the stranger that he blushed. "Um... Thanks I guess," Naruto said. The stranger said nothing and got out a lighter. Naruto panicked, What the hell was this stranger going to do? "Er... I should get going," Naruto said, grabbing the check, but the stranger refused to let it go. "Hey! What's the big idea?" Naruto said furiously, putting his hands to his hips. Suddenly, Naruto realized. The stranger held the check over the lighter, and lit it. "HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!" Naruto yelled, trying to get the check to dust the flames off. "You need to wait a little more while to get fast food in your rags," sneered the stranger, "But wait, you should eat trash like the defiled dog you are."

Naruto watched as the flames danced along the edges of the check until it engulfed it whole. Instead of crying, Naruto began to get infuriated, anger and sorrow boiling up in him. Naruto balled up his fists. "Too bad..." the stranger said in a vague trace of a disturbing smile, "Maybe you should think of killing yourself before starving."

Unable to take anymore of the stranger's irritating insults, Naruto punched the egomaniac in the cheek. "Pfft." The stranger spit out blood and glared at Naruto. "Oh, you're going to get it now," the stranger said in a gruff voice. Eyes widening, Naruto ran. The unknown stranger watched the blonde race down the street. "Uchiha better pay me extra for this..." the stranger muttered darkly.

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When Naruto got home, he sighed and plopped up on a vibrant, orange couch placed near the door. Rich, snobby people were always doing this to him, burning money in front of his face(4).

The fact that his parents left him no money after their... "accident," was horrifying. Naruto had only been born when his parents died. Tsuande, his parent's landlord of their apartment, had volunteered to be his guardian and helped him get furniture in his apartment. She even had helped put him in a school. "Granny Tsunade will be pissed when she finds out I'm late..." Naruto said to nobody in particular. KNOCK KNOCK! There it was. The two Fatal Knocks of Doom. Naruto opened the door to the scrunched-up face of Tsunade.

"Hey brat! Where's my money!?" she demanded as she walked in. "Erm.... I don't have it today... but it's for a good reason!" the blonde expained hastily as the other blonde raised her eyebrows. "And why don't you have it today?" Tsunade said, furrowing her eyebrows. "It's hard to explain Grandma." Naruto said darkly.

After explaining it to Tsunade, Naruto was blinking back tears. Tsunade put a reassuring hand on him and pat him. "It's okay brat, I'll collect your rent at the end of next week, okay?" Naruto brightened up. "Thanks, Granny!" "For the last time, stop calling me that!" Tsunade said, fuming. "I'll stop calling you that when you get younger!" Naruto teased. SMASH! Tsunade brought her fist down on the blond's head.

"Oww..." Naruto whined. Tsunade put a proud head up. "Just get ready for the first day of school brat." Naruto had forgotten all about school. "AAAH!!!!" the blonde shouted. "Where's my bag! I forgot my pencils, WHERE THE HECK IS MY CELL PHONE!" Leaving the panicking male behind her, Tsunade smirked and closed the door.

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It was the first day of school, and Naruto panicked. What room would he be in? Would his best friends, Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru, Ino, or even Hinata be in there? He had given up his crush, Sakura, years ago when he was 14 and placed it upon... a certain lilac-eyed brunette. One who believed in fate and destiny.(5)

Yes, obviously it was Neji. Oblivious to Naruto, all of his friends could see that he liked Neji, even Neji himself, so when they all saw Naruto blushing, they smirked. "Ohayo Gozaimasu!" Naruto called out to Kiba and Shikamaru as he approached the school bus stop. "Good morning to you too, Naruto," Kiba said. "I wonder if we all have the same classes like last year?" Naruto wondered. "Yeah, me too," Kiba replied. "Maybe?" he looked hopefully at Shikamaru. "How troublesome," Shikamaru sighed, but continued on,"considering there's a 200 students in the Sophomore year, I'd say there's about a 7,880,400 outcomes of people in each class, so it's highly improbable we're going to be together."

(6) Naruto sighed. "Well, maybe at least one of us will be in the same class as the other." 'And hopefully I'll be in Neji's class too.' Naruto added in his thoughts as the school bus came.

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Naruto entered the class of B140 and peered around. Sakura was there talking with Ino, no surprise there, as she tended to be in the same class as Sakura. And there was... 'Sasuke-teme!' Naruto thought, mouth seething in foam. 'No way he can be here! But of course... Sakura also tended to be in a class with Ino AND Sasuke.'

As Naruto was lost in his thoughts, Sasuke came over and said smirking, "Other people have to use the doorway too, dobe." Naruto hadn't realized he was blocking the doorway, until Neji came from behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Uchiha is right... Naruto-kun." Naruto blushed furiously and almost knocked down 3 desks on his way to his. Sasuke sent a piercing glare at Neji, while feeling a sharp pain in his chest for some unknown reason. Neji just smirked and winked at Naruto.

Naruto looked around the room. Sakura and Ino were on both sides of Sasuke, who was sitting in the front of Kakashi. Neji was in the upper-left hand desk and staring strangely at Sasuke. Naruto was next to Neji.

"Good morning class, I'm Kakashi Hatake, your new homeroom teacher." a strange mask-covered, grey haired man said as he walked in. "I'm sorry I'm late, I had to help my neighbor fix his cable." Unfortunately, nobody bought this, considering his first impression.

"LIAR!" his class shouted. "Whoa!" Kakashi replied waving his hand. "No need to be aggressive, after all I AM your teacher, so don't give me a reason..." Kakashi retorted with a sly look on his face. Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke put their hands to their forehead. This was going to be a long day for them.

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Throughout the morning, Kakashi had kept giggling while reading a book called, "Icha-Icha Paradise." When asked what he was reading, he would say, "Oh nothing much... Just reading your schedules so I can silently stalk you while muttering dirty things and fantasizing about things involving you and your mother." After he finished reading, he decided to give out a project.

"Now the objective of this project will be to test how well you interact with your classmates. It will involve, the standardized baby, but with a twist." Kakashi said mischieviously. "6 people will take care of one baby, but they will also have to interact with each other, because not only will you have to deliver the baby in good health, you will have to write a report on 1 of the 6 people. You cannot choose a person that has already been chosen by another to do a report on-"

The class groaned, none of them really liked each other, well not counting Naruto. During the discussion, Naruto had already received at least 10 dirty notes, from apparently all boys. One read, "I'd like to get rope and arrest you for being a little sexy slut. Then I would play good cop and bad cop with your dirty little as-" Naruto threw that one at the ground, looking at it disdainfully. Another one read, "You sex me up like a child would do to a pedophile." That one Naruto looked at strangely. He didn't know who sent it, but whoever did, he thought, had problems. He finally finished reading all of them, and tuned in to what Kakashi was saying. "Picking up where I last left off, I'll choose who you will be with." He looked at a list of names. "Uzamaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Neji, Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino, and Sai." Kakashi frowned at the last name he read. There was no last name, only a first name. He shrugged. "Well, Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Sakura, Ino, and Sai, good luck on your projects!"

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(1) Granny Tsunade obviously his landlord for his apartment.

(2) It's just a logo for Ichiraku's that I randomly made up

(3) Everything in here is an alternative universe (AU) except the best part where Naruto and Sasuke kiss (Sasunaru for the win!)

(4) Yup, they burn money in front of his face. It's because he grew up poor until Tsunade put him in her custody.

(5) Don't worry! It's still Sasunaru (even though I believe in Nejinaru too) I basically like any yaoi couple with Naruto as the uke. (except gaanaru, Gaara is too eeeeemooo!)

(6) It's simple 6th grade math people!

**Bleh, Sorry it's so short, it's just a first impression. I promise to make it long next chapter! That is if I get reviews (Kakashi-sensei look on face) Or maybe I'll just discontinue it. I plan to make this into about 10 chapters. Anyways, again I apologize if it's too horrible. Make your voice be heard, REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! MASASHI KISHIMOTO DOES! And of course... Sasuke Uchiha *nosebleed***

**YATA! I finally got my new chapter up dattebayo! Anyways, Naruto's 16 in this fanfic, and so are the others. **

**Bleh... So blah blah blah my first sasunaru fanfic blah blah blah. Anyways, please enjoy!**

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All the students gasped. Some were full of joy, specifically speaking: Sakura, Ino, Neji, and Naruto; most were full of terror.

'_All right dattebayo! I get to be with Neji!' _Naruto gleefully thought. You could fully see the hearts in his eyes and floating around him. He then blushed, fantasizing about that certain brunette. '_My god... I have to be with these rabid fangirl whores!' _Sasuke thought, his head drooping.

"Anyways, Naruto, Neji, Sasuke, Ino, Sakura, and Sai," Kakashi said, looking at each of them, "I hope you do well on this project, because..." his face filled with sorrow and the room darkened, "it may be your last...." CRASH! Naruto had thrown his book at Kakashi, "Why the HELL did you turn off the light and shine the flashlight under your face!" Naruto fumed. "Well, it adds for extra effect," Kakashi said pathetically, "anyways, continuing on..."

He read the rest of the list of names. After a few more minutes, the bell rang for history. "Your projects are going to be due next month, so don't forget!" Kakashi said as the class exited.

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History was next, and their teacher was the eccentric... Orochimaru.

The man was like a freaking geisha, putting on makeup during the school hours, or at least that's what Naruto thought. The snake-like man had taken a special interest in Sasuke, a creepy one at that. Sasuke really didn't need a Michael Jackson in his life. Orochimaru had put Sasuke in the desk in front of him, so that he could keep a watchful eye on him. Neji decided to take a desk behind Sasuke's desk, and Naruto took the desk on the right side of Sasuke  "So class," Orochimaru said vaguely, "what we are going to discuss today is..." he paused looking at Sasuke, "love. Love has made a very important turn throughout the times. It can deceive, corrupt, or even create happiness-" Naruto tuned out during the discussion. He passed a note at Sasuke while Orochimaru was walking around the room. '_So, teme, how are you going to enjoy it tonight with the geisha now that he's talking about LOVE?' _Sasuke read. He scribbled a few words down furiously and passed the note back to Naruto. _'I'm going to enjoy it as much as you're going to enjoy doing it with a dog, dobe.' _Naruto wrote his response and threw it at Sasuke. '_WHAT TEME!? Well, at least I don't have fangirls, stalkers, and a creepy teacher trying to seduce me.' _This went throughout the class, until they paused to listen to Orochimaru's response to the question, "What does love have to do with history?!" when asked by a student. It was finally lunchtime when the bell rang.

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Naruto caught up with Sasuke in the hallway and walked with him to the cafeteria. "Interesting love lesson, eh?" Naruto grinned. "Oh shut up, dobe," Sasuke growled, "What happened to Neji anyways?" Naruto replied, "Oh, he said he had to take care of something."

They got their lunches, sat down besides a tree, and started eating. They began talking about their teachers, and continued talking for a few more minutes.

"Oi teme," Naruto started. "What dobe?" Sasuke said. "You have a little something right..." Naruto put his finger on Sasuke's face, took a piece of rice, and ate it, "there." Sasuke had a faint blush spread across his cheek.

"What?" Naruto asked, then he realized what he just did. He blushed even more. "H-Hey! Don't think I did that because I like you or anything." Sasuke smirked, "Suure dobe," (A/N Yes, I used the most cliched scene in history)

"Anyways, we have to do that baby project," Naruto continued, still blushing, "Who are you going to do your report o-" "Sasuke-kun!" Sakura interrupted, coming over to their spot, "Do your report on me okay!?" "No way Billboard Brow!" Ino said, pushing Sakura, "Sasuke's mine I say!" In the meanwhile, Sasuke's fangirls had managed to get through the security guards Sasuke had hired (A/N yes, he's rich in this one too) "Oh shi- Gotta run," Sasuke said getting up and running, leaving Naruto to hate the fact that the fangirls interrupted their afternoon. Wait... THEIR afternoon!? Naruto shook his head, he told himself that he had to stop eating ramen for breakfast, but that was highly unlikely.

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Naruto had a dilemma. It all started during math period, where Kurenai Yuhi reigned supreme. "Ah, Kurenai-sensei, I don't understand!" Naruto said, raising his hand and waving it. "..." Kurenai was silent. "What? What's everyone silent for?" Naruto asked. "... Naruto... We're reviewing 6th grade math." Kurenai said slowly. (A/N: Yes, I used 6th grade math. Naruto's THAT bad at it) Naruto blushed furiously. "Something tells me you need a tutor," Kurenai responded. She peered around the room and pointed to a silent brunette. "Oi, be Uzumaki's tutor until he understands the math," Kurenai ordered. Both students were silent. "WHAT!?"

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"I can't believe YOU'RE my tutor," Naruto ranted as he and Sai walked to his house. "It's not my fault you can't even understand the simplest math terms," Sai retorted, "and besides, she chose me because I have the highest math scores in the class." The normally silent brunette had been talking more than he had in the entire year. (A/N: Yes, Sai is OOC, it's not my fault either! It just came out this way!) "Anyways," Sai continued, "How the HELL can 11th grader not understand 6th grade math!?" "Erm... maybe...I cheated off...for 5 years?" Naruto said weakly. "..." Sai remained silent for the next few moments, full of shock, "You mean... You got by the years by CHEATING!? How did you cheat and not get caught!?" "Ehem... Shikamaru," Naruto replied. "Of course," Sai muttered, "We're here, anyhow. (A/N Yes, another cliched word.) "Anyhow!?" Naruto said, incredulously. "I don't get out much," Sai said embarrassed. Naruto snorted as he opened his apartment door, "Yeah, I can see that." He took the time to look in his bag. "Oh crap, I forgot my math book." Sai put his face to his palm. "It's time to learn math, and you forget to bring your math book. You should run back to school, idiot." Naruto blushed as he walked out the the door, "It's not my fault!" "Less talk, more walk," Sai replied earnestly.

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"Stupid math... stupid Sai," Naruto mumbled as he got his math book out of his locker. CRASH! There was a big bang in one of the rooms. '_Eh? I thought I was the last one here. It came from the student council room too._' Naruto thought. He covered his mouth when he almost gasped. There, in the room, was Neji pushing Sasuke against the desk. "See, I don't need Naruto, the only reason I hang around him is to get to you," Neji smirked. Sasuke looked shocked, but didn't say anything. Neji continued, whispering words in Sasuke's ear, but still being audible, "But... we could just leave that idiot and have each other." Naruto gaped. It took a few moments to register what was happening. '_... NEJI LIKES SASUKE!?' _he thought in disbelief. "You know you want me, Uchiha, you could just say the magic word, and we can get together." Neji said, still smirking. Naruto gasped and suddenly, without any warning, he started crying. Neji turned around and smirked, while Sasuke yelled, "WAIT, NARUTO!" Not listening to the heartless asshole, Naruto ran.

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**Oh that last sentence SUCKED. I also realize that I didn't include the "egomaniac" in this chapter. Nor Naruto's job. Don't worry, I'll do it it the next chapter. *gasp* Naruto SAW! What's going to happen? Love it? Hate it? Let your voice be heard. REVIEW!**


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